May 2013
infinitetransit:
isn’t it funny that lesbians are presumed to hate men, have turned away from men, or never experienced the ~prowess~ of a man
we’re talking about a preference that actively centers around women and they still try to make it fundamentally about men
sometimes i think i’m arrogant but then i remember that julius caesar was kidnapped by sicilian pirates and when they demanded a ransom of 620 kgs of silver he got mad because he thought he was worth more than that and made them raise it to 1550 kg
goodbyenovember:
the-vashta-nerada:
can touchscreens feel us
fbodybrat:
kellymaneja:
If you don’t squeeze your girl’s ass with the force of twelve slaves when kissing her, you need to evaluate your life and your choices.
I like you
cuntsandcadavers:
ro-dza:
sensualthrills:
when i’m married my partner and i will have:
morning sex
afternoon sex
dinner sex
after meal sex
i made pancakes sex
good morning sex
the kids are at school sex
shower sex
bored sex
make up sex
angry at eachother sex
monday sex
tuesday sex
wednesday sex
thursday sex
friday sex
saturday sex
sunday sex
there is nothing on tv sex
i...
Me: *accidently ruins everything*
lovelylittlehippos:
sir-pyllero:
hankler-fish:
blainestorm:
ckweek:
squidkneee:
phlynn:
summer bloggin
happened to fast
summer bloggin
had me a blast
I met a friend crazy for me
Met a blog, cute as can be
tumblr days, drifted away
but oohh-oh those tumblr nights
TELL ME MORE TELL ME MORE,
LIKE DID YOU GET AN ASK!?
tell me more tell me more
did you reblog that ass
...
callmekitto:
internetfeet:
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.
I knew that I had come face to face with someone whose mere personality was so...
– Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray (via larmoyante)
Period: WAKE UP ASSHOLE, YOU GOT CRAMPS.
Period: How bout an entire chocolate cake for breakfast?
Period: How's that back pain? Feeling better? Let's fix that.
Period: Find a cookie as big as a house and eat it.
Period: Where's your Tic Tac box filled with ibuprofen?
Period: Got things to do? Don't care. Sleep.
Period: For dinner you're eating an entire bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Period: Breeze blows by. Instantly horny.
Period: You didn't like those brand new underwear right?
Period: Yell at a puppy.